Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
soo... how was my night?
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