Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
how drunk are you?
Several
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
