Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize