Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
