Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
