He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
