Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I deserve this hangover.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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