Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
