whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Randomize
