His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
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Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
did i walk over a car last night?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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