I wish I could teleport
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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