Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
