I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
