white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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