So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
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