i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have feelings that need drinking.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize