When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
