He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
