His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Randomize
