Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
