fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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