did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
