nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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