Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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