I think I just saw someone hide a body.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
