Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
