you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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