Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
