she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
