i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
please come you make the beer taste better
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
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I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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