dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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