When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize