Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
