thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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