i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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