ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
No subtext here. People are naked.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
