party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
