i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
