Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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