i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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