I have demons in me.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Randomize
