lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
