Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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