But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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