i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
