we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize