Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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