I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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