How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
