He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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