Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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