quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
sarcasm needs its own font
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
