You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
