if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
