you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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