I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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