I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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