are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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