I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
