Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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