I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
