just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
