I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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